Conversations: With Our Big Boy

Mom: Tell me all about school. 
Tegegne: I was very nervous at first (Michael had to leave you in the cafeteria with all of kids and their parents who waited to walk them to their classroom.). Then more people came and I was less nervous...Recess was pretty good...played soccer, but I didn't see Kade. I didn't like that I had to wait so long for lunch. (That's my fault, son...we usually eat at 11am at home!) But we got to take a snack to recess! And I did see Kade at art...

Dad: What are your friends names?
T: Macy...and I forgot...Oh, and Towns!
D: I had Town's sister in summer school last year...he's cool!

M: And your helper teacher...what is her name?
T: Madam Prisca. She's chocolate like me. 
M: She's very pretty.
T: Yeah, she is.
D: Aren't there several chocolate kids in your class?
T: Just two. 

(Pointing at your first school worksheet of the alphabet...)
T: I colored these red and blue for the Jayhawks, and these are black and purple for the Cats.  
D: Cool, who told you that?
T: Macy. She sits at my table!

T: Towns was splashing me so much in the pool that my eyes turned red. I splashed him back. 

T: Mom, why do you want two hugs...cooome on! I've already given you one.

Then for tuck in after the second day of school I asked you the best and hardest parts of the day. The best part was playing soccer and the worst part was when the big kid pushed you because you weren't playing the game right.  I got Daddy because he has lots of experience with "bullies" on the playground. You two had a good conversation, and you know that your teacher is there to help.

We are so proud of you. A highlight for all of us in this new phase of your life, is that you get special time with Dad to and from school. So far that's involved donuts and a trip to the toy store. You two are thriving with this extra time together, and it's so neat to watch. Dad is extra excited to hear you speaking French, and overall we feel content. One of the few things your Birth Mama told us is that she wanted you to have an education. Her wish is coming true. You are witty, can converse with adults, and are at a school where people know and look after you. She would be so proud, Son.  Let's look to the stars tonight and say a prayer that she would somehow know that her wish for you is coming true. 

Love, love, love you,

Mama (You and Hensley have been calling me Mama, since that's what Fields says!)

I Am: Your Mother

Tegegne Dena,

I am your mother.
From the center of my heart,
I am your mother.
I love your whole being. Every single part.

I am your mother.
I'll be here through it all.
If you stay short or grow really tall.
If you are mad at me or are in the big game and drop the ball.
I'll be here for you.
I am your mother.

We were born on different continents.
Our blood lines are not the same.
Yet your heritage I'll share with you.
Your story, your life, your name.

I'm getting better at cutting your hair.
Your dark handsome skin needs a thicker lotion than mine.
Besides that, our lives are the same.
Cheese, you'll take it or leave it.
You savor a treat,  and even decide to save the last bite for the ride home.
You are smart. Intuitive. And generous.
I am proud of you, my son.

I am blessed to be your mother.

(Photos are oldies but some of my favs. You were such a little guy.)

Remembering: A Generous Act of Love

Thinking of this dear soul today and the unforgettable gift she gave our family. 

Conversations: With Tegegne

All of us in the car talking about who knows what and you, Tegegne, speak up:

T: Ababayeh, I don't want to be chocolate anymore. I want to be vanilla like you guys and Hensley.
(I teared up right away at the sound of those words, but you didn't know. Michael and I looked at each other. He mentioned that we should try to get you some black friends. I don't remember exactly what he said to you then, but since then Michael has been speaking life into you. Talking with you about who you are, and why that is so special.)

Dear Tegegne, 

We love you so much. You are becoming more aware of your surroundings, the color of your skin and how it differs from the rest of our family. You've mentioned several times that we should adopt another "chocolate" kid into the family. Actually the other day you mentioned that we should adopt 1,000 kids but then you laughed and said that would be too many diapers. (Remember that we were in the process of adopting 2 more Africans in to our family last year? But then God had another plan. And that other plan was your little brother, Fields, who is currently 1 month old. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't trade him for anything.) 

This afternoon our dear friends, the Welches, took you and Hensley out to lunch, for ice cream, and to the park. Katie mentioned that when you were at the park a little girl asked if Hensley was your sister. You said "Yes," and the girl replied, "No she's not...you're brown." You said, "Yes, she is my sister!" I'm not sure how the rest of the discussion went, but you were obviously frustrated with the girl and you did not want Katie to talk to her.

 We love you, Tegegne. We ask for God's grace on our journey together as we have have these encounters with people and as we have important life discussions. I just read this article by Marcus Samuelsson, who was an Ethiopian kid with white Swedish parents. I plan to read White Parents, Black Children to gain more perspective on transracial adoption. I have so much I want to write, and we will all learn so much as the years go by. But for now, I want to pray for you.

Dear God, 

We love your plan for our family, and that it included our precious son, Tegegne, as our first child. We love that he is Ethiopian. We love that you knit him together in birth mom's womb, and that you care deeply for him. Please be with him. Speak truth to him when others ask him questions and we are not around. Give him confidence in our family and in his own skin. Show us when to embrace his culture and when to just let him be. Your love covers a multitude of sins. You do not look at us as man does. Man looks at our outward appearance, but you look at our hearts.

Amen.

And on a light hearted note you said this last night...


T: Mom, will your hair ever change?
M: I don't know, what do you mean?
T: Will it turn white, like when you're 60?

(Highlight of my weekend: Dancing with you while the band played. And my date with your dear 'ol dad.)

Sweet Sweet: Motherhood

Oh my sweet, sweet children. I love ya. Thank you for being the reason I'm a mama. What a blessing and labor of love it is to lead you through this life.  Your dad and I are so grateful. 


Remember when we first met? 

Those first moments with you both are so memorable to your dad and I. Tegegne, they placed you in our arms and everything around us was cloudy, nothing else mattered at that moment. We were enthralled by you, and giddy, and amazed that you were our son! Hensley, your daddy brought you in and laid you on my chest and I was full. I was relieved...you made it through and so did I! You were tiny and beautiful and smelled sweet like a baby. 


Now may the Good Lord bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you and may you receive his peace. 


God loves you.
God cares for you.
God blesses you.
God is with you.


Love,


Mommy (or Mommyeh yeh yeh...you used to cry out my name like that, Tegegne. It was so cute.)

Kids: Little Helper & Responsibility

Hi cute boys. I like you. Hens, I like you too! By the way, I feel like I dogged on you a bit with the whole crying often in the last letter, but you totally made up for it on Friday. We ran errands allll daaaay long. You were so good and we had fun laughing, hugging, and finding some things for summer (backyard pool, suit for mommy, sun hat for you...) Anyway, I wanted to say thanks for being such an enjoyable little helper. 

Tegegne, tonight Ababayeh gave you the keys and told you to pull the truck up. You said okay and gladly took the keys and headed for the truck. You successfully found the right key, unlocked the door and climbed in the drivers seat. Then Ababayeh said, you wish! Not quite yet, son! 

Then I was thinking. If you were in Ethiopia, you would have lots of responsibility. I mean, probably not driving trucks around, but you might have a donkey and a cart on wheels that you rode to town and back!

(first photo by lauren, second photo)


I wrote to Birth Mom, via a man named Solomon, and hope to hear news from them soon. We shared your special prayer story, and asked that Solomon print it and take it to read to Birth Mom. I hope he is still able to do this, and we hear a bit of good news from her as well. 


Here are two special photos of your dear Birth Mother and I embrassing. She holds a dear place in my heart. 

Tegegne Dena: 4 1/2 Years Old

Oh, Tegegne Dena Jones. Your life blesses us so much. You are 4, almost 5. We are full of joy when we think of what God did in bringing you to us. You love riding your bike. Remember when Ababayeh taught you on your 4th birthday? No training wheels, just lots of pads. You were both determined even though you fell a ton. Now you ride like a champ. You are still inquisitive, and ask how everything works or why things happen like they do. You are growing up. You know that God loves you, and that Jesus cares enough for you to give his life. (And I'm crying, now.) You are well loved, my child.

We talked about Birth Mom a bit yesterday, but hadn't discussed anything regarding your adoption in a while. You said we should see her someday, so Lord willing, we will try. Otherwise, there's not been much adoption talk. Just family life as usual. People probably still look at our family and try to figure us out, but I must be less aware. It's nice. 

The other day we had two guys estimating our fence and you had been out riding your bike while we were all in the back yard. We were walking in the house, the two guys, you, Hens and I. One of the guys stopped and asked, "Do you know him?" referring to you! I gave him a look like are you crazy, and then replied, "Yes, I know him. He's my son!"

We are quite glad that we have these photos of the "little you." We look forward "big you" photos someday to go next to these. Since you love photo shoots, and such, we sent this last photo to the Gap Casting Call, in hopes to win a photo shoot and shopping spree! 

Love you bug,

Mom

(photos by lauren)

DRC Adoption: More Blessings

Last night we opened an envelope from a dear couple that we barely know. They sent us $275, and said that they are praying that their money would also multiply. I teared up and Michael thanked God aloud. Being aware of what God is doing here is transforming our hearts. Thank you, friends! May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you! 


Then we got a $27 check from Kansas City Title. We don't know why! 


If you are reading and have faith in God, this makes sense. If you don't know of faith in God, let me say that we have money coming to us from many directions and the only explanation is that we prayed to God for financial provision and our prayers are being answered. 


We are humbled. We know that Gods answers to our prayers are not always like this. Either way, we believe. We believe in God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We believe that Jesus died, rose again, and will come again one day. We believe when the sun is shining, or when clouds cover the sky. We believe when money comes in, or when it doesn't. 


And we have hope. Hope that God shines a light in the dark places. Hope that our children-to-be are safe and can feel peace beyond understanding. 


And we are thankful. For our community. For health. For love. Because what we do for the least of these, we do for God...who loved us enough to sacrifice his son. That is love.


photo credit.

Adoption: Answered Prayers!

photo credit.

Yesterday I woke up with a weird feeling about the agency we had chosen, called them to ask about some fees, and still did not feel right. Then a friend writes me sharing the same concern. It was perfect timing. She reminded me of an agency that her friends just brought twins home through. A great agency with lower fees, and good character. So, we are looking into that agency this morning and making the switch!!!


And then, I get another message from a friend saying she has written a director at Show Hope on our behalf, and says I can contact her to discuss DRC agencies. 


And two days ago a friend who started Sseko Sandals offered to partner with us for a portion of our funds!


And then, right before bed we were blessed beyond measure...


Wow...at 9:32 pm, Michael and I opened a huge blessing from dear friends. Tegegne's piggy bank of $19.27 was multiplied 100 times!!! We immediately praised God for this generosity. Humbling and overwhelmed we have all approached this day with pure joy. Got a text from Michael this morning saying, "It's going to be a good day!" Then at breakfast, Tegegne blurts out, "It's going to be a good day, today!" So here we have it folks. February 3, 2012 is a good day. We have seen God's provision, and are hearing His encouragement through friends right and left. 


(And this morning I told Tegegne that his piggy bank amount was multiplied  100x and he says..."Did it come from their piggy bank? What does their bank look like, mom?......We've got to tell them Thank You!)

May you also know the goodness of God on this day.


Love,


Kristyn

Adoption: What's Next

This was the coolest moment with my son thus far. We wake up Saturday morning, Ababayeh was out early grading papers, and Tegegne comes into my room...


Mommy: Tegegne we sent in our adoption application yesterday and now we've got to pray. Do you know how much money we need for our first payment?
Tegegne: No, how much?
Mommy: $4,050!
Tegegne: Oh, mom!!! I know how we can get it. I've got my bank. Go get Rufus! (his "doggie" bank) I can give the money in my bank. 
Mommy: Wow Tegegne, that is really nice of you. It is a good thing to give all that you have, because God will bless that.


This gesture, son, means more than you know. We counted all of the money in your bank, minus one euro and stuck it in a envelope. I will make sure this $19.27 goes straight to our fund. Actually, my prayer is this:


Dear God, 
Will you please multiply Tegegne's doggie bank funds two-hundred and ten times for our first payment? This is a humbling and tummy-grumbling process. It is so hard to be taking this step of faith. Like are we stepping into deep water without endurance to swim? I want the endurance though. So does Michael, and Tegegne, and Hensley (she smiled the other day when I mentioned a baby sister.) This process just goes so against what most people, or even what I would naturally do. You have definitely called us to something more risky and eye-opening in this life though. Michael and I are looking up the "poverty guidelines" with 6 in a household...to make sure we have more than that to qualify. We do, by the hair of our chinny, chin, chin. There is nothing "comfortable" about this, but we see it as good. Good, because when we loose our life we find it, and it's better to give than to receive, and when you give to the least of these, you're giving to Me. All of these lessons that you, God, remind me of throughout the day. Lessons that I thought I once knew, and still don't completely.  


God, we are ready to sign the first papers toward bringing two children without family into a family, our family. But we must first have the humble $19.27 turned into $4,050.


Amen.


P.S. I mentioned praying about this again to Tegegne (as it's been on my mind all day) and he says, but Mommy...remember the money I found at the gym yesterday (he found a penny!)? We've got to add it to the envelope!


That penny is Tegegne's mustard seed.  

Tegegne: Conversations + Life

Tegegne, you were such a darling little nugget with a huge noggin'! We love this photo that was on all of your embassy paperwork, and just framed your Ethiopian birth certificate in our kitchen. You still have a large forehead, and many shirts struggle to get over it. We love it. It has actually been months since you got a goose egg on your forehead, and I think we may be moving on! You are growing into a kind, funny, gentle boy, and of course you are still full of life. That energy is being used more productively these days, and we see you growing into a fine oldest brother role model kind of kid. This is not coming without much effort...timeouts and good discipline in love. : )

Mommy: "Tegegne, come here! Have you looked outside? It's a Magical Mystery kind of day!"

Tegegne: Don't say that moooommm....it's just fog.

(Last night was sad for our family...our dear friend Mike is no longer staying with us.)

Tegegne: "Don't woowwy mom! It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna be here....but somedays I'll go to school  and I won't be here. Okay?"

Then during our dinnertime prayer you had one arm around me and one around your father. Hens was already sleeping. Your arm squeezed tightly around me and your little fingers were squeezing my shoulder, giving me a little massage. It was so kind. 

DRC Adoption: What's Next

Photo from Agency's facebook page.

Michael and I have had many conversations lately about the logistics of this next adoption, and it seems crazy and right at the same time. To be honest, it seems less crazy than right for both of us. Tegegne too, he now asks me about his "brother and sister" (we have no idea if it will be that combination) that we are adopting and when they are coming. Today he said, "Mommy, I think my brother is going to be a baby but then he will be big. And we will be crazy together!" Then Mike (17 yr old Mike) chimed in and said, "See Kristyn, I told you this is gonna be more than you can handle!"


Here's what we've done so far. Found an agency that we hope to proceed with. A few of their fees are higher than the others, but they do in-country foster care which really helps the children's health and well-being. In foster care they are seen by a doctor and social worker monthly, get medicines, nourishment, and love.  Way, way, way better than the orphanages we've seen photos of. Also a much smoother transition for them.


I've joined the congo yahoo group, which is over a hundred families that have, are, or will be adopting from the DRC. Lots of emails, but a wealth of information. This website (kidsincongo.com) is new by an adopting mom and will be a great resource for families.


Going to send in the application this week and take a deep breath. It's most overwhelming because of the cost. If I'm in the worry state, it feels like a heavy weight champion is pinning me in the ring, saying "Are you crazy lady? You don't have the money for this." If I trust God, I get teeny butterflies in my stomach, and I gently try to see if God's up for telling me how this will play out." I mean, I don't even think I mentioned that we already got an anonymous $500 cashiers check in the mail. (Dear God, bless that person(s) more than they imagined and let them know we are forever grateful for their gift.) It was a sure sign that we should proceed asap.


In the mean time I'm praying for our daily bread...(and Michael's baking it!)


Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, 
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.


Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, 
as we forgive those who trespass against us. 
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For yours is the Kingdom and the Power, and the Glory forever and ever. Amen. 

Adoption: The Congo

 

More Photos...

So, here goes. First I must preface this with a word from my mother. "You know, Kristyn, this is sort of  like you being pregnant so you'd better call your brother as well...before he reads this news on your blog." So we've made a few calls to our family, but here's our phone call to the rest of you...


Michael called me the other day and asked if I was sitting down. He said he had a strong feeling that we should adopt from the Congo (really the Democratic Republic of the Congo...or the DRC). He proceeded to say that the voice in his head (which we know was God) suggested that we go ahead and adopt two children. Siblings.


I was speechless. Up to this point we had discussed adopting one child, locally, and then being done. Three kids, five total Joneses, sort of sounded manageable. But he said two, not one. 


This was last week. Since then we've learned that the DRC is the second poorest country in the world, with one of the highest infant mortality rate. These children are subject to becoming child soldiers. (I can't even think about that.)  And then there are all of the other issues that a very poor country faces.


I sit here typing as I think of our two children sleeping peacefully in the other room, about to enjoy a Christmas holiday centered around family and love and peace. I cannot imagine the millions of orphaned children in the Congo right now. 


If there is one thing we've learned through our adoption of Tegegne it was this. When God speaks, we listen. We listen and say, oh wow...really? You sure? Then we take action and trust that this is right. Not easy, not laid out completely, but right. With Tegegne we took a giant leap of faith in many ways, especially with our finances, and we saw God provide. We were overwhelmed and humbled and blessed. Adoption is definitely not easy, or completely laid out, but it is good. 


And here we are. Researching adoption agencies that work in the DRC. Gaining information, trying to assure that we find legit people to work with. Looking wide eyed at each other when we total the adoption for two children...and then thinking about college someday. (Actually Michael mentioned weddings...in case we bring home more girls...but I told him weddings are a walk in the park but what about college!) 


So that's it. This wild adventure that we call life. Please, if you will, join us on this journey asking God to provide for the days ahead and show us the next steps.


Faith, hope, and love. These three. But the greatest of these is love.


Kristyn

Our Guest Post: For Polly's Blog

Here is what we wrote for Polly's blog...a bit of a "what's-on-our-minds" update:


Hello there friends! 
We are the Joneses. Michael, Kristyn, Tegegne and Hensley. Polly asked that we blog-swap and share a bit of our story with you! Thanks for reading! We started our blog at the beginning of our adoption process and wrote letters to our son-to-be. Those letters to our son allowed us to bond with him before we knew him, just as a mother does with the child in her womb. Bringing Tegegne home (January 2010) was an incredible journey that we continued to write about. We thought we wanted to adopt all of our children, but decided to try for a biological child too. This past February, Hensley Ruth joined the family. Life is full and we love it!

(Tegegne is all boy...wild and adventurous...which explains the goose egg on his head!) 

Michael and I were sitting in church a few weeks ago and I could tell we were thinking the same thing. Afterwards we agreed that we both had adoption on our minds again. A few days ago, Tegegne randomly asked, "Mommy, are we going to adopt again?" (This threw me totally off guard!) "Well, we are thinking about it...why?" "I think we should because it's a new day and the sun is shining!" (What? It's a new day and the sun is shining? To me this response sounded like God speaking through my 4 year old...saying, what is stopping you? It's a new day...and the sun is out! When we started our last adoption process it was clear that God sent us on that wild journey. Michael and I are considering our next adoption the same way. Hoping to get a few "signs" that it's the right direction, because like most things we do...timing, finances, etc...don't always line up! God can be clear about something and it requires our faith to proceed. 

Anywho, we are still blogging about our day-to-day, pregnancy-labor-newborn-solid food...ya know the baby stuff, potty training, our adoption story and conversations with Tegegne, renovating our historic home in an urban neighborhood, and all the fun stuff we do in between! 

Here are a few more highlights:

Meeting Tegegne!

Meeting Birth Mom

Our Adoption (This was on of our first of many posts about our adoption. Either you read the journey backwards, or start here and go forward.)

And a few more photos:

Thanks again and have a lovely day!

Kristyn

Friends: Adopting & Selling

1. So these dear friends of ours are near the best part of their Ethiopian adoption...traveling to bring their son home! It's also the hardest part because their timeline to travel has changed and is still not concrete. They have met their son in Ethiopia, got to feed him his first solid food, and had to come home and wait. If you would please, pray for Aaron and Heather and dear Baby Arthur! May they reunite soon!

Adorable Baby Arthur...in pink!

2. On a bittersweet note...they are also moving out of Kansas City back to their homeland of Texas. We are seriously sad about this, but I know that as new parents they will love being near their family. So, here's another way we can help them...


3. Buy their cute house in the darling Brookside neighborhood...OR tell a friend who may!

More photos here!

4. Did I tell you that Arthur's nursery (or Stateside Vintage Suite) was published on Apartment Therapy's ohdeedo? (Aaron is a musician and artist, and Heather is a graphic designer and artist too!)



5. Lastly, you have to check out Aaron and his pals' band: The Himalayan Adventure League!


We love you Hales!!!

Chocolate Me! : By Taye Diggs

Thanks, Taye Diggs, for writing this book. Our family will most definitely be purchasing it. We also use the words chocolate and vanilla. As a "white" mom, it is tricky sometimes to know how to talk about differences and how often to do so. Tegegne is going to love this book!

Happy Birthday: Tegegne Dena Jones!

Tegegne, your birthday party was awesome! Everyone had a blast! I meant to take a group pic so you could remember all of your friends that came, but we were having too much fun to take photos! 

We love you, son. Do you remember what you were thinking in this photo a year and a half ago? It was the first day that you met us. None of us knew what was in store. 

Okay, okay it's fun to go down memory lane, but let's get on to the good stuff! You got a B-I-K-E for your birthday and yesterday you learned how to ride it! Your "coach" is Ababayeh and I have never seen him more proud of anything!

So yesterday, you fell down a lot but with Ababayeh hootin' and hollerin for you, you got back up, gave a thumbs up and kept riding! Then Ababayeh called half of the people he knows to share the news! 


Fun video on Day 2 of bike riding! 

 "Bicycle! Ride it, and smack it!"

After riding around the park you rode to the grocery store while Ababayeh jogged, so you could pick out a special treat after your birthday dinner. 


And lastly, I've got to share a conversation we had at the park... 


Man: Is that your son?
Ababayeh: Yes. He's four years old today. It's his birthday and he learned to ride a bike. 
Man: Are you sure? He's a different color.
Ababayeh: Yes. He is our son. 
Mommyeh: Have you heard of adoption? (we were using friendly, casual voices, btw)
Man: Ooohhhh. Okaaayyyy. 
Mommyeh: Where are you from?
Man: Somalia. 
Mommyeh: Oh good. You have children?
Man: Yes, I have eight. 
Ect, ect. 

Tegegne: Memory Lane + First Moments Together

It is fun watch these videos and remember how special those first moments were. You were a thirsty little guy. You held onto that yellow airplane so tight. We had no idea what the next weeks, months, or years would bring. We were stopped in time and so mesmerized with you. It took a while for you to smile, but at the end of our time together you did. You also kissed us.


You love watching these as well. Especially since Hensley came. You are so curious about what it was like when you were a baby. You just asked, "Mommy, did I come from your tummy or birth mom's tummy?" You ask questions like these, and it is so neat to see the story unfold in your mind. Yes, there is sadness (which will eventually come I'm sure) but our story has unyielding joy. Because we are meant to be together.


We are watching videos as I type this and you just discovered that we were not wearing seat belts in the van. Your mouth dropped!   

Tegegne: Memory Lane + Anticipation

I love these trips down memory lane. What a sweet time it was to eagerly anticipate meeting you, dear son!

Kids: A Big Helper

Scout Photo. Nick Welch.

As you can see, aside from Michael, I have a big helper in the house named Tegegne. It is quite fun to have him help when I stay patient enough for him to do so. This morning he was holding her legs as I changed her diaper, and he did a great job. He helped lotion her belly after her bath, and loves to hold her. Hensley, you seem to enjoy hearing your brothers voice as he tries to sooth your cry or get you interested in a toy. Last night was a sweet moment. He came in and helped me sing you a song before you went to bed. He chose "God is so good" and sang it to you with all of his heart.

And to you big helper, I've been thinking of you as a little bitty baby a lot. I am often asked if it is hard that we didn't know you as a baby. Now that we have this sweet, cuddly little baby I would say yes. I wish I could have held you, rocked you, soothed you, and known you when you were so little. At the same time, I know that it was God's will for your dear birth mother to have those moments with you. Feeding you with her breast, soothing you with her voice. She even told us (when we met her) that you slept on her chest. I am sure that being near her was what you needed. Oh, but if we could only see a photo of your sweet baby cheeks. You have enjoyed us talking with you about what you were like as a little baby. We tell you that you probably cried as much as Hensley does, and that you had as many dirty diapers...but that birth mom most likely didn't use diapers like we use, etc, etc.

Love,
Mommyeh