The Many: Hairstyles of FBJ

Fieldsy, 

Your hair. Your hair is soft, and plentiful, and stylish! You are 3 weeks old today. One month will be here soon! Instead of letting the time fly by we are trying to cherish these early days.

Your dad writes, "It was cool last night. He (you) was getting all restless, and I got a little nervous thinking that he was going to explode. Then I remembered that you said he was settling in...about 5 minutes later he was sleeping...good work Krissy." 

Your dear 'ol dad, has been awake with you some at night, just choosing to hang out because you are wide awake. It is neat to get to know you, especially while feeling relaxed since we've done this baby thing before. I've remembered dear Mrs. Druckerman's suggestions of "The Pause" and after doing Babywise with Hensley, we've gotten you into a good eat/wake/sleep routine. 

I love your sweet baby sounds and the way you hold your little mouth in the shape of an "o" and look around. 

***

Tegegne,

You were in a movie today, which made a little money for your savings! You played the grandson, and held hands with a grandpa while walking through a park. An easy scene with no talking, but you were a natural!

***

Hensley,

Love you funny girl. You're so goofy. The way you dance around waving your arms. How loudly you say each word, and repeat the last word you hear. You love shoes. And eating. Definitely your mother's daughter.

And since I read this post, I'll be getting in a few more photos with you kids.

Love,

Mom 

A Week: To Remember

Tegegne, your 5th birthday party was seriously fun. You were so nice to include your sister, too.

Hensley, you have really been making us laugh lately. You love being goofy.

Mirror, mirror in Fields' crib! When awake, he likes to look into the mirror!

Fields, here you are at 1 week and 4 days, 7 lb 8 oz. You've been such an awesome baby so far!

What a week! Michael was home. Fields spent his first week here. Tegegne turned 5.  Hensley tried to find her place in it all. And I am no longer hugely pregnant, but get to carry my little bundle around and sit him down if I need to! I can reach the kitchen faucet with ease now, but still spent much time off my feet while Michael handled all-things-kitchen. 

Highlights included:

Great food! Thanks to friends and collegues for the delicious food. (organized via mealbaby.com) A ready-for-fall chicken pot pie and one to freeze, an apple pie delivered warm to our front door, homemade mac n' cheese, beef and veggie cabobs with Tzatziki sauce, Italian sausage lasagna, artisan chocolates for me (via mail from Aunt Jan).

The perfect 5 year old day! Tegegne, your birthday was quite awesome, wasn't it? It started with a trip to our family fav, Soho Bakery, where you picked out a huge cinnamon roll. You opened presents throughout the day and were stoked with each one. Nana delivered your gift to the house, which included the coolest new leather belt with your name stamped in. At 4pm you, Hens, and Ababayeh went door-to-door picking up your 4 birthday guests. Then you spent the next 4.5 hours with friends. Ababayeh and I sat back and watched you all play and what a show that was. There was no need for organized games, because of your young imaginations. The parents came around 7:30 for cake and adult beverages and a bon fire. We will continue this format for parties from here on out. We imagined Hensley's 5th birthday party and how different it will be with 4 little girls in pigtails playing, verses your wildly adventurous play with the boys. 

Fields, the hassle-free baby! Thanks for listening to all of my pep talks towards the end of pregnancy, where I suggested you be a hassle-free baby! Last night you woke twice to eat at 11:30 pm and 4 am. You're teeny tiny and adorable and we love your soft fluffy brown hair with golden highlights! Your jaundice test came back negative. Nana got you a few G diapers with hemp inserts. We plan to get a few more because we love them. 

Hang in there Hensley! This transition would not go in your book of "Best Times of My Life," but you will make it through. Besides some sad times and tantrums, you do love Fields which you say at the top of your lungs "Beels, Beels!" or you call him "Hazel," your upstairs baby friend. You hold him, kiss him, and touch his nose. A highlight for you has been your hours of sweet time with Daddy. You two are attached at the hip and I know Daddy is going to miss you so much while at school this week. You were so happy to see Gramma Debby first thing this morning, and you will also get a special day with Nana on Thursday.

The week was topped off with Uncle Eric and Aunt Erica's visit. We enjoyed the Plaza Art Fair, Lulu's Takeout, bon fires, and mostly laughs and sitting together.

Michael, thanks. Miss you already.

Love,

Mom

What I'm Reading: And The Pause

Bringing Up Bebe - The Pause

So, I’m going to attempt to summarize a few of Pamela Druckerman’s findings as she researched parenting in France, specifically Paris, in her book Bringing Up Bebe. The first of which she named, The Pause.

A few weeks after she and her husband brought their daughter “Bean” home, neighbors on her courtyard began asking if Bean was “doing her nights?” What they meant was, is she sleeping through the night? She felt quite irritated by this question, and then she realized that culturally it’s a hot topic.

A lot of parents she knew in the US don’t get a good nights sleep until their child is about a year old. This idea is absurd to French parents. They realize that allowing a child to learn to sleep is doing the child a favor. So she looks into how they go about this. Many of the mothers she talks with say they just listen to their child. It’s a natural rhythm. They speak of being very observant with their children. She later finds that they have certain “unspoken rules” that are just a given to them. She terms it “La Pause.” When your baby is born, don’t just go to them at their every move. Even from birth, give them a moment to self-soothe. A mother isn’t strictly “observing” if she jumps up and holds the baby the moment he cries. Young babies make a lot of movements and noise while they’re sleeping. This is normal and fine.

Another reason for pausing is that babies wake up between their sleep cycles, which lasts about two hours. It’s normal for them to cry a bit when they’re first learning to connect these cycles. If a parent interprets this cry as a demand for food or a sign of distress and rushes in to soothe the baby, the baby will have a hard time learning to connect the cycles on his own.

Alexandra, whose daughters slept through the night while they were still in the hospital, says that of course she didn’t rush over to them the second they cried. She sometimes waited five or ten minutes before picking them up. She wanted to see whether they needed to fall back to sleep between sleep cycles or whether something else was bothering them: hunger, a dirty diaper, or just anxiety.

Alexandra--who wears her curly blond hair in a ponytail--looks like a cross between an earth mother and a high school cheerleader. She’s extremely warm. She wasn’t ignoring her newborn babies. To the contrary, she was carefully observing them. She trusted that when they cried, they were telling her something. During The Pause, she watched and listened. (She adds that there’s another reason for The Pause: “to teach them patience.”)


Most of the French babies sleep through the night by 4 months, and if not, at that point the pediatrician recommends some version of crying it out.

French parents don’t have a name for The Pause, they just consider it common sense. They all seem to do it and to remind each other that it’s critical. It’s such a simple thing. It’s clearing out the clutter of competing ideas and focusing on one thing that truly makes a difference.


(book, photo.)


Hi, it's me again. I hesitated to "summarize" The Pause because there are more examples and further explanation in her book. I share it anyway because I love the simplicity in keeping the "sleeping baby topic" so basic. Happy sleep to you and your family!


Love,


Kristyn