Conversations: With Tegegne

All of us in the car talking about who knows what and you, Tegegne, speak up:

T: Ababayeh, I don't want to be chocolate anymore. I want to be vanilla like you guys and Hensley.
(I teared up right away at the sound of those words, but you didn't know. Michael and I looked at each other. He mentioned that we should try to get you some black friends. I don't remember exactly what he said to you then, but since then Michael has been speaking life into you. Talking with you about who you are, and why that is so special.)

Dear Tegegne, 

We love you so much. You are becoming more aware of your surroundings, the color of your skin and how it differs from the rest of our family. You've mentioned several times that we should adopt another "chocolate" kid into the family. Actually the other day you mentioned that we should adopt 1,000 kids but then you laughed and said that would be too many diapers. (Remember that we were in the process of adopting 2 more Africans in to our family last year? But then God had another plan. And that other plan was your little brother, Fields, who is currently 1 month old. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't trade him for anything.) 

This afternoon our dear friends, the Welches, took you and Hensley out to lunch, for ice cream, and to the park. Katie mentioned that when you were at the park a little girl asked if Hensley was your sister. You said "Yes," and the girl replied, "No she's not...you're brown." You said, "Yes, she is my sister!" I'm not sure how the rest of the discussion went, but you were obviously frustrated with the girl and you did not want Katie to talk to her.

 We love you, Tegegne. We ask for God's grace on our journey together as we have have these encounters with people and as we have important life discussions. I just read this article by Marcus Samuelsson, who was an Ethiopian kid with white Swedish parents. I plan to read White Parents, Black Children to gain more perspective on transracial adoption. I have so much I want to write, and we will all learn so much as the years go by. But for now, I want to pray for you.

Dear God, 

We love your plan for our family, and that it included our precious son, Tegegne, as our first child. We love that he is Ethiopian. We love that you knit him together in birth mom's womb, and that you care deeply for him. Please be with him. Speak truth to him when others ask him questions and we are not around. Give him confidence in our family and in his own skin. Show us when to embrace his culture and when to just let him be. Your love covers a multitude of sins. You do not look at us as man does. Man looks at our outward appearance, but you look at our hearts.

Amen.

And on a light hearted note you said this last night...


T: Mom, will your hair ever change?
M: I don't know, what do you mean?
T: Will it turn white, like when you're 60?

(Highlight of my weekend: Dancing with you while the band played. And my date with your dear 'ol dad.)

Tegegne Dena: 4 1/2 Years Old

Oh, Tegegne Dena Jones. Your life blesses us so much. You are 4, almost 5. We are full of joy when we think of what God did in bringing you to us. You love riding your bike. Remember when Ababayeh taught you on your 4th birthday? No training wheels, just lots of pads. You were both determined even though you fell a ton. Now you ride like a champ. You are still inquisitive, and ask how everything works or why things happen like they do. You are growing up. You know that God loves you, and that Jesus cares enough for you to give his life. (And I'm crying, now.) You are well loved, my child.

We talked about Birth Mom a bit yesterday, but hadn't discussed anything regarding your adoption in a while. You said we should see her someday, so Lord willing, we will try. Otherwise, there's not been much adoption talk. Just family life as usual. People probably still look at our family and try to figure us out, but I must be less aware. It's nice. 

The other day we had two guys estimating our fence and you had been out riding your bike while we were all in the back yard. We were walking in the house, the two guys, you, Hens and I. One of the guys stopped and asked, "Do you know him?" referring to you! I gave him a look like are you crazy, and then replied, "Yes, I know him. He's my son!"

We are quite glad that we have these photos of the "little you." We look forward "big you" photos someday to go next to these. Since you love photo shoots, and such, we sent this last photo to the Gap Casting Call, in hopes to win a photo shoot and shopping spree! 

Love you bug,

Mom

(photos by lauren)

Happy Birthday: Tegegne Dena Jones!

Tegegne, your birthday party was awesome! Everyone had a blast! I meant to take a group pic so you could remember all of your friends that came, but we were having too much fun to take photos! 

We love you, son. Do you remember what you were thinking in this photo a year and a half ago? It was the first day that you met us. None of us knew what was in store. 

Okay, okay it's fun to go down memory lane, but let's get on to the good stuff! You got a B-I-K-E for your birthday and yesterday you learned how to ride it! Your "coach" is Ababayeh and I have never seen him more proud of anything!

So yesterday, you fell down a lot but with Ababayeh hootin' and hollerin for you, you got back up, gave a thumbs up and kept riding! Then Ababayeh called half of the people he knows to share the news! 


Fun video on Day 2 of bike riding! 

 "Bicycle! Ride it, and smack it!"

After riding around the park you rode to the grocery store while Ababayeh jogged, so you could pick out a special treat after your birthday dinner. 


And lastly, I've got to share a conversation we had at the park... 


Man: Is that your son?
Ababayeh: Yes. He's four years old today. It's his birthday and he learned to ride a bike. 
Man: Are you sure? He's a different color.
Ababayeh: Yes. He is our son. 
Mommyeh: Have you heard of adoption? (we were using friendly, casual voices, btw)
Man: Ooohhhh. Okaaayyyy. 
Mommyeh: Where are you from?
Man: Somalia. 
Mommyeh: Oh good. You have children?
Man: Yes, I have eight. 
Ect, ect. 

Tegegne: Memory Lane + First Moments Together

It is fun watch these videos and remember how special those first moments were. You were a thirsty little guy. You held onto that yellow airplane so tight. We had no idea what the next weeks, months, or years would bring. We were stopped in time and so mesmerized with you. It took a while for you to smile, but at the end of our time together you did. You also kissed us.


You love watching these as well. Especially since Hensley came. You are so curious about what it was like when you were a baby. You just asked, "Mommy, did I come from your tummy or birth mom's tummy?" You ask questions like these, and it is so neat to see the story unfold in your mind. Yes, there is sadness (which will eventually come I'm sure) but our story has unyielding joy. Because we are meant to be together.


We are watching videos as I type this and you just discovered that we were not wearing seat belts in the van. Your mouth dropped!   

Tegegne: Memory Lane + Anticipation

I love these trips down memory lane. What a sweet time it was to eagerly anticipate meeting you, dear son!

Tegegne: What's Up

"

hello there.
my name is gunyea.
i stand at 36" and weigh in at 30 pounds.
i dress myself.
most of my days are spent on all fours imitating my large k9.
i love my belt. 
i love my sister.  
i love reciting my address.
i can't wait for my first soccer practice this saturday. you see, i was born in ethiopia and my awesome city, kansas city, has an ethiopian kids soccer team...and i'm gonna play on it. 
my new thing is wearing different colored socks because this book i read says "it's okay to wear glasses, it's okay to be short, it's okay to be tall, and it's okay to wear different colored socks."
my knock knock joke goes like this: 
"knock, knock."
"who's there?"
"banana." 
"banana who?"
"banana Owen!"
then i crack up laughing and hope that i've made you laugh too. my parents find my jokes quite hilarious.
right now i'm sleeping in my little-man cave that my mom made for me. its under the stairs, and it can get so dark that i go into hibernation for about half of the day. my mom loves my new man cave.


bye-bye

Love Is Waiting

The next best thing to being in the adoption process, is walking along side friends who are. Our good friends, Aaron and Heather Hale, just sent off their load of paperwork and are officially waiting for their baby boy referral from Ethiopia. Heather has creatively come up with some great stuff for sale to help bring their little fellow home. Go buy something at their store and become a part of bringing their son home!

LOVE IS WAITING ONLINE STORE (click for link)

They will name their son, Arthur. Read that story here. Isn't that cool? I love Aaron's doodles of the man bears! Aren't they cute?

Aaron and Heather, I am so glad you took this huge step of faith to adopt your first child. A son! May God bless your journey to Arthur.


Follow their story here...Love Is Waiting.

Home + ET in KC

We had two weeks of great vacation, but it was nice to come home. Too be honest I've been daydreaming about relocating, and for several reasons it felt good to be excited about coming home...to Kansas City. Since we've been home, we have made yummy meals, gone to the First Friday Art show, attended a dear friends wedding, gone to church (phew, really missed that!), played at the spray park, had Michael's parents for dinner, and met up with friends at Foo's. Amidst all of that fun, it has been relaxing and so nice to be home.

Oh, hello...AND we went to an Ethiopian get-together in KC on Saturday afternoon. Met the most lovely people, all of whom came from your homeland, Gunyea. Learned that there are 6,000 Ethiopians in Kansas City. Even met a family from Sodo, of the Weyletan tribe. They spoke Weyletan to you, the language of your birth family. It was pretty special. There is an Ethiopian children's soccer league that we will look into. So neat to make those connections to your culture in our city. We exchanged numbers, and will get together for play dates soon. God is good.

Meditate + Motherhood

On the glorious splendor of Your majesty And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.

Psalm 145:5

Stillness before God, meditation, listening to the wind, blocking out distractions, practice of meditation and quiet before God. Soul restored. Reminded to find a quite place before God more often.

This mom finds the quiet place out of reach lately. Jumped right in and didn't notice until a few weeks ago that my quiet place had become less quiet. This evening I was reminded that I must find the quiet place again. The place where I sit in silence, where I read or write. Where I hear God, and try not to say too much.

Today was opposite of quiet because you knew mommy was on a mission to get through some piles of paperwork, which required phone calls and focus away from you. So you did everything to try to get my focus back. And it rained all day, so we did not escape to the great outdoors.

Read and talked about your "adoption" story with you today. We often talk about it, so it will never come as a surprise to you. A lady recently asked how we plan to integrate your past with your future. I plan to talk more about Ethiopia, with hopes that you will remember segments of your past to share with us.

Few photos from our journey from your homeland, Sodo, Ethiopia.

Tegegne's Little Friend

This is a video of one of your sweet little friends at the Transition Home. We were so sad to leave him that day. We were getting in the van to leave, you saw him, nearly jumped off of my lap saying his name. We got out of the van and hung out with him for a minute. You lit up and were so glad to be near him. Hard to leave that little fellow. I got home and was so excited to figure out who his new mommy and daddy will be. He was just adopted and has spent the first few days at his new home! His new mommy gladly said that I could share this video here. He lives north of Chicago, but his mommy said they have a friend in KC so we can make arrangements to get together sometime. One of my favorite things to do with you is show you videos and pictures of your friends from Ethiopia. You light up and say their names over and over. I cannot wait for you to make special friends here. We are working on that and I know God will provide!

Orphans

Awesome Ethiopian kiddos looking to find a Forever Family.

I just read this blog post from our adoption agency regarding Haiti adoptions. I thought you may find it interesting. This may be quite obvious, but we are in favor of adoption. If God puts orphans on your mind and you have questions about adopting, I'd love to talk with you!

AWAA Haiti + More

More from Ethiopia

Sodo Pictures